Important tips & knowledge for a happy married life

 

Marriage is heavenly bondage between two souls. Married life is an important phase in most of our lives, so we all crave a happy married life. But few factors do not let our married life happy. Lack of experience & proper knowledge of those factors is the apple of discord. If we are aware ourselves of those factors by gathering knowledge then we can easily defeat the bad situations in our married life. In this respect, I am presenting here important tips & knowledge for a happy married life & hope it will be helpful for all.

Be loyal: Just remind what pledge we take in the name of God during the marriage ceremony. We take a pledge to accompany our spouse all over our life whatever the situation is we shall not leave our spouse alone. Do we follow the pledge all over our lives? Certainly, the answer will be ‘No’, because we are not serious about the oath taken before God.

As per custom, we make that pledge & when the ceremony is over, all words are forgotten. Thus we first show our disloyalty to God. So what will God do himself if you cry before Him for your disturbed married life? You may cheat your partner but can’t cheat Him; He knows everything & sees everything.

The practice of disloyalty then succeeds with the flow of time. We being lured by another ‘pretty eyes’ run after her & forget our married ones. Sometimes a ‘macho physique & wealth’ draws our attraction to him on such a scale that we don’t think twice before leaving our husbands & children behind us. If one’s wife is gone crippled in an accident or has been discovered later with a critical disease then her company seems to be disgusting to him, as if she intentionally has made his life hell. When someone’s husband suddenly is laid off from his job & becomes penniless, then instead of standing by him she prepares for getting rid of her ‘beloved’ husband. As he has now lost the ability to fulfill her wishes anymore.

“Most good relationships are built on mutual trust & respect.” – Mona Sutphen.

Few of us are also very much watchful of what our spouses doing most of the time with their mobile phones. Do all of these conducts strengthen the bond of our relationship?

In every respect, we should maintain fidelity to keep up a healthy conjugal life. Outer attractions or criticism may come before us in the daily course of life, but we must avoid them with our willpower.

 

Caring for each other: A careful person is always out of harassment & leads a happy life. A woman comes to her husband’s home leaving her parents, relatives & old memories behind her. Her in-laws’ house is a different atmosphere where everything is new to her & she can’t do anything as she wishes avoiding the strong vigilant eyes of her in-laws. Sometimes a new bride succumbs to herself by the ill-treatments in her in-law's house. She is compelled to endure everything as none there cares about her opinion. She feels like a trespasser in her in-laws’ house. It creates a mental problem in her which is expected in a happy married life.

          

So, it is the foremost duty of the husband to care for his wife. If he shows a careful gesture towards her then she will not feel lonely & would share her all problems with him. Likewise, a good wife always takes care of her partner. Giving value to each other’s opinions is also a good practice in this respect.

How to take care

v  Make a phone call to your spouse while you are in the office or out of the station.

v  If she/he feels uncomfortable anytime, feel her/him at home.

v In his/her illness, make him/her free from household daily work for giving rest.

v  Remind his/her birthdays & celebrate or give him/her a surprise with a gift.

v  Always show a loving attitude to each other. Sometimes give her a surprise by presenting her dear relatives or friends at your home.

v  Give your family adequate time to make them happy.

v Don’t put the whole responsibility of your children on your wife only, you should share her responsibility to relieve her.

v  Don’t make her/him feel helpless & lonely.

 

 Going for an outing: In everyday life we are habituated to doing the same jobs like cooking, going to school or the office, washing clothes, cleaning rooms, or shopping. These everyday activities sometimes feel boring. Life becomes heavy & unbearable. But we are helpless; we have to do those household chores with a happy face. We often should go for an outing to get rid of this monotony of life. This outing may be going shopping or having dinner in a restaurant or visiting nearby attractive places or a friend’s house.

         

 

An outing is a refreshing agent to us; it makes us free from everyday tension & lightens our minds. So, to maintain a happy family life one should go for an outing at least once a month to recharge the minds of family members.

 

Ignoring physical intimacy: Within a few years after marriage, most couples become reluctant in making physical intimacy. Mostly it happens after the birth of the first child in the family. In today’s busy lifestyle it is seen that both the husband & wife have to spend much time in office & after office period they return home tired, sometimes it also observed that they keep themselves busy in office files & go to sleep late at night. This lifestyle arouses reluctance toward intimacy between them. When one partner asks another to make love, he/she immediately ignores the appeal by showing their tiredness. If this ignoring goes on for a long time, then the peace between them is spoiled & depression knocks at the door.

 So, you should respond to the call of your partner & if there is any problem with accepting the call, one should clarify the cause to the other. As per the views of medical practitioners, physical intimacy is helpful to secret such kinds of hormones which are very much beneficial for our health. Be sportive in your sex life to have the ultimate joy.

 

Don’t be ashamed to say ‘Sorry’:

 “Never ruin an apology with an excuse.” –Benjamin Franklin.

 Sometimes there may be a difference in opinion of a couple on the same matter resulting a discord between them. They stop talking or interacting with themselves. Each of them thinks he/she is right & other is wrong. No one is ready to talk first & break the silence & expect others to approach first. Such a kind attitude creates a complex situation in a family. The ego in us instigates us to perform this kind of activity.

 

Think at least twice before delivering words to your partner. Think over your opinion for a couple of minutes & approach your partner to say ‘sorry’ for the words. Sometimes a simple acceptance of one’s guilt easily breaks the ice. A simple & pure mind can win the heart of God. So be simple & pure in a gesture to win your partner’s heart.

         Stop blaming each other: To err is human, to forgive divine. We very easily print out an error & blame others. In family life when there we find a mistake we start accusing our spouses without showing pity. We people are born to make mistakes, even as per Bible it was a great mistake(original sin) of Adam & Eve as the cause behind the creation of human beings.

 

So, there may be mistakes by the person who toils all over the day for the family, but we should not criticize that person. Blaming & criticizing do not solve the problem rather make the ambiance polluted which affects the mental peace leading to an unhappy life.

 

v  Try to take any mistake lightly.

v  Show calmness & discuss the matter politely.

v  Control your emotion when you have found a big mistake by your spouse.

If your approach to the doer is right & polite, then you can see the mistake-maker repent for the happening & take responsibility for him/her. Then you must console that person & request politely to be careful in future.

Related read: Stop Blaming others 

 

Practice inspiring & praising:

         

 

This technique is very effective to build a happy married life. Do praise your partner in small cases, it may be a new recipe or house decoration or cleaning a stain from the clothes. This little praise will motivate her in work & increase her enthusiasm. If your husband likes to play any musical instrument, but can’t play due to the workload or lack of serious listeners, so urge him to play that instrument & show your interest in listening to the music.

        

 If your wife or other family member loves gardening then keep inspiring that person. If your wife likes knitting, give her a surprise by gifting her with knitting tools & request her to make something for you.

 

Be fit & healthy: Sometimes one loses the attraction to one’s spouse due to a lack of fitness in her or him. A pretty face & a glamorous physique of course draw the attention of others. An overgrown fat in a woman or a bulgy tummy may keep his/her partner aloof & a sense of humiliation is felt in her/him when they walk side by side in public.

To check this problem-

v  One should exercise regularly.

v  Practising yoga also is helpful in this regard.

v If necessary, visit the beauty parlor once a month to look attractive before him.

v  Wear fashionable dresses to draw the attention of your spouse.

v  Maintain cleanliness & tidiness always.

 

Respect & loving attitude:

 “Respect is an invention of people who want to cover up the empty place where love should be.” – Leo Tolstoy.

 Nothing is there in this world which can’t be won with respect & love. These two words are the most valuable treasures in human life. Where there is a lack of these emotions is unhappy family life. So, above all, we must start practising respecting & loving others around us to establish a healthy atmosphere where all can breathe in peace & enjoy a happy life.